help me out: win a PRIZE!

It’s a few weeks before official launch, but The Rival is now available at many eBook outlets!

If you’d like to read it for free, just email me on bethanyjoycarlson@hotmail.com. I would love to have a few more reviews on the following sites (any goodreads folks out there?).

  • The Rival for your Kindle on Amazon
  • The Rival for your Nook on Barnes & Noble
  • The Rival for your PC or many other devices on Lulu (and download general epub file reader Adobe Digital Editions here)
  • The Rival for your iPhone or iPad on iTunes (and download iBooks from the iTunes app store)
  • The Rival for your Android device… I’m still working on it! They don’t make it easy.

Which brings us to the part about the free prizedoes anyone know how to get an eBook on the Android platform? I’ll tailor the prize to what you want. Need help with nerdy math stuff? I’ll do it for free! Want a gift certificate to your local bookstore? No problem! Want a signed galley of The Rival with a cheesy framed picture of the original draft art for the cover? It’s yours! Help me now and win a great prize!

i’ve met the middleman, and her name is lulu

lulu.com, that is. This may not be the straightest path to iBooks for the iPad, but at least it’s one that I can figure out. I have spent most of the afternoon fighting with lulu.com, but finally The Rival is in the magical epub format, it has a working table of contents, and reads properly on generic ereaders like Adobe Digital Editions. And the cover is there, and lookin’ good.

Basically, lulu.com is a website that converts files like Word docs into epub format. Lulu sells eBooks, and they are also an “approved aggregator” for iBooks. I guess they are also an approved aggregator for the Barnes & Noble Nook, but Barnes & Noble’s PubIt! website is actually really easy to use and will also do this for you, so I’ve turned the Nook feature off in lulu.com.

Meanwhile, I have made zero progress for making the book available for Android devices. I like reading books on my Android phone, but trying to figure out how to sell on there is really difficult! I think I have to turn my book into an App! I have no idea how to do this. I have emailed their help desk… expectations low.

tablet sales quadrupled last quarter; ereaders not so much

Such is the news reported by mediabistro’s ebook newser. This comes as no surprise to me! After my experience with reading books on my phone (Samsung Galaxy) and Amazon’s Kindle, I posted this back in July.

While it’s nice being right, the problem is that getting eBooks tablet-ready is hard compared to getting them eReader ready. Grrr. I feel like I need to be a tech genius to make this work!

new story: koombooloomba bandicoot

I’m excited to post a new fable: Koombooloomba Bandicoot. It’s another fable starring some cool creatures in the Kipling style. It’s a story about friendship and dedicated to a great friend of mine.

It stars some pretty unfamiliar creatures, so I thought I would post a few pictures here. Googling these animals and youtubing them is also encouraged.

The mighty bandicoot, Koombooloomba.

The super platypus, Wujal Wujal (and his son Tinaroo).

The fearsome tiger quoll, Djarawonga.

The delicious yabbie.

The tasty witchetty grub.

i cannot over-emphasize enough the insignificance of our opinion

“Dear Mr. Gold:

Thank you very much for the recent submission of your poetry chapbook, Notes on an Orange Burial. While we appreciate the effort that went into your work, we will not be able to accept it for publication at this time. Please do not be overly discouraged by this news, as we are a rather unimportant publishing company that more often than not is unable to distinguish between an inspired piece of verse and bar-room limerick featuring scatlogical leitmotifs. I cannot over-emphasize enough the insignificance of our opinion, and hope that you realize how talented you truly are.

We at BlackStone recommend that you do not rip up this rejection letter in anger. We feel it would be much wiser for you to wait until you are deservedly offered the post of U.S. Poet Laureate some day in the not too distant future, and then to urinate directly on this letter in front of close friends and family at your acceptance celebration.

Once again, thank you for thinking of BlackStone Publishers. And remember, our entire editorial staff is inbred.

Regards,

Robert Gluck

Senior Editor

The above letter, oddly enough, contains not the words written by its sender, Robert gluck, but rather the words interpreted by its receiver, Jona Gold. In fact, I now ask that you kindly forget Mr. Gluck entirely, for neither his name nor even his shadow appear again in this book. Mr. Gold, on the other hand, is just arriving.”

-Greg Levin, Notes on an Orange Burial

I have thought of this opening passage from an authonomy.com book many times over the last year while the bone dry rejection letters have been rolling in. I wish agents did have a sense of humor.

I’m so excited to see that Notes on an Orange Burial has been picked up by a publisher and will be available on US shelves on October 1, 2011. Way to go, Greg!

your manuscript doesn’t sound like something that’s right for us

Oh yeah? Well your face doesn’t look like something that’s right for daylight.

Robo-response from agent #13. So the tally over the last 13 months is:

Agents giving constructive feedback: 1

Agents giving generic feedback: 7

Agents providing no response: 5

Fortunately, I’m working on a new cover for The Rival this weekend. My sister pointed out that the draft I currently have features a dude, whereas the main character is a chick. Hopefully will post something new on this later today. Boo-yah, agents!